(23) Gunfights

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For those paying attention to how my number these, just ignore it for now. There’s this system I have and a lot of work went into the original system, but with the way how life is working out right now, I can’t find the time to properly rearrange everything, so the original system will have to do for now.

I may change things in the future, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.

_______

So gunfights.

I don’t know if you can tell but I don’t draw guns often, I’m more of an RPG weapons kind of gal. So you can imagine my struggle when I saw this prompt.

I knew for one thing, whatever gun I drew up will be extremely basic, so I knew it couldn’t be a gun-centric imagine. Besides if I don’t draw guns often, how much better would the gun action poses look. Overall, the creative juices weren’t plenty.

Then brainstorming branched out on a tangent, of how I can really play around with this concept since the “badass route” had nothing but roadblocks. I decided to play on the aggressive nature of guns, but instead of your usual bullets and oozy liquids, how about compliments?

I saw this thing on Twitter a couple of months ago, and it was just someone threatening a buddy of their’s with love and affection. It when along the lines of, “Nothing’s going to stop me from sending my love and affection your way so square up!” It was super off-putting, but at the same time you couldn’t help but feel flattered. (And don’t worry, it was a wholesome exchange, no danger there) Honestly, I found it hilarious and oddly wholesome and endearing.

With that in mind, I tied it back to this prompt. Pairing wholesome compliments for your loved ones with the aggressive imagery of guns. It’s a weird pairing, I still can’t wrap my head around it, but it’s done now. This is now a thing.

That being said take the time to tell your loved ones how much they mean to you. With or without the intense enthusiasm, your call.

… No matter how many times I play with the idea in my head, this is still a weird match up. But anywho!

That’s all for now, talk to you guys next time!

(16.7) Courage: Reaching Out

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Reaching out.

For some people, it’s second nature. For others, it’s anxiety-inducing.

What will people think? What will they say? Will they see me as broken? Will they laugh at me? Will they even care? What if they just make me feel worse? What could they possibly say to change any of this?

Those are just some of the many thoughts that could possibly be running through your head when you consider opening up to someone about your inner demons.

You don’t know what they’ll say. There’s no way to predict what they’ll even do.

It may take a couple of times to open up to people because sometimes you have to find the right person to open up to. But once you do, you’ll regret why you haven’t done it sooner.

From my personal experiences, I was content solving my problems on my own.

During the most emotional parts of my life, I was able to get through it with my own willpower. So naturally I began to think, why would I need someone else. And in my defence, the couple of time I did choose to talk to someone else it always resulted in me feeling worse than before. Instead of easing the pain they piled on some new anxieties, so of course, that would discourage me from opening up in the future. Why make myself vulnerable when people will only hurt me more?

But as time went on, my inner turmoil became worse, and it became too much for me to carry on my own. The willpower and my self-created positivity were no longer working, and other options started to look better to me.

So I tried to do something I was afraid of doing. I was desperate, and I knew I couldn’t trust myself to get out of this mess anymore.

So I decided to talk to someone. I was super vague and downplayed a lot of my worries, but that was as much as I could even get out of myself before breaking down. And to my surprise, it helped me a lot. My head was clearer, and I could feel a literal weight being lifted off my chest and shoulders. They helped me out a lot. For the most part, all they did was listen, but I guess I justed needed someone just to be there for me. Maybe I just needed to know that despite all the things going wrong in my life, there was still someone out there who loves me just because I’m me. They see that I’m trying and they’re proud of me. They want nothing but the best for me. And knowing someone loves me like that is enough for me to get back up again.

Opening up is scary. I’m still not used to it, as a reflex, I’m ready to start sobbing before even getting a single word out. But it definitely helps. And just because one encounter ended up poorly, don’t let that discourage you from trying again. Because there is someone out there that will listen to you and care about the troubles that plague your mind. You’ll be alright.

So the wonderful week of courage has come to a close!

Definitely a lot bigger of a project than what I was expecting. But I do not regret a single moment of it!

It was also fun exploring the different types of courage out there. We’re so used to physical acts of courage that we forget that every day we’re being courageous. So applaud yourself! Because it really does take a toll on you when you step out of your comfort zone.

I hope you all enjoyed this week, and if it was the dash of wholesome you needed to make your day then I couldn’t be happier.

Well, that’s all for now.

Until next time you cool cats!

(16.6) Courage: Face With Failure

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Those familiar with grinding and hustling will understand that you will face a lot of failures to achieve success. There’s nothing wrong with that, that is literally what the process is. But sometimes during that grind, you’ll hit wall after wall, and when you look back you can’t help but notice all those failures.

It’s overwhelming. The sight of all those failures can cloud your better judgment and push you into a downward spiral of self-doubt. And those moments where all those failures are laid out in front of you can be soul crushing. It can make you lose all motivation. Suddenly you no longer feel as if you’re invincible. You’re not as great as you once thought you were.

How can you even dare stand up at that point?

But sometimes that’s all you have to do. Stand up again.

Remember your self-worth and all your qualities that make up the wonderful individual that you are. So get back up and show the world what you’re made of because, with every failure you face, you’re also growing into a better version of yourself.

Keep at it! Don’t even think of giving up!

This has definitely been something I have learned over time. I can be impatient, and I want to see myself succeed. So when things aren’t going my way as fast as I would like it to, of course, there will be doubts. But if I give up now, then those dreams are as good as gone, so I knew giving up wasn’t an option. And with every wall, I faced I learned something more about myself and grew into a better version of myself.

As much as failure sucks, it’s definitely necessary.

And it’s not too bad, especially if you know how to get back up again.

That’s all for now! See you tomorrow for the last installment!

(16.5) Courage: Letting Go

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All of us have probably experienced this at least once in our lives.

Caring so much about someone who just doesn’t seem to care about you.

Giving so much of your time and attention to someone who is nothing but toxic in your life.

It takes a while to see it because you’re so invested in making that person happy, making that person like you, so you can imagine how much courage it takes to finally let that person go and say, “You’re not worth having in my life.”

It’s scary. You get thoughts like, they stuck by me for so long, will I ever find someone who will put up with me?

And that answer is yes. There are so many people out there who will and do genuinely care about your well being, want to see you happy, cheer you on, and who will give the world just to see you smile.

Those people are out there, and you just have to have the courage to let go and find those people you deserve.

This is also a lot easier said than done, but it is possible. Look out for the signs, and keep yourself safe.

This one was definitely more on the darker side of courage, with the imagery and the concept in general. It’s especially heavy for me personally because I have experienced it before. Those people meant the world to me, I did everything I could to make them happy. But when I finally realized the I wasn’t getting anything in return it honestly broke my heart. I was devastated. I blamed myself for a while, but after reaching out to someone else they helped me realized those people before weren’t worth my time, and that I could do so much better.

Now I’m in a lot better place, surrounded by people who love me and want to see me succeed. And I have never had so much confidence in my life before. So it’s great to know, it does get better.

That’s all for today, see you tomorrow!

(16.4) Courage: Looking Stupid

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It’s amazing how many people will not raise their hands or asks the questions they need to know because they fear to look like an idiot, and by all means I’m the exact way. No one wants to be¬†that¬†person. No one wants to be label as the local idiot, it degrading and humiliating, especially if people make a fuss about it. It just shuts you off completely from ever wanting to know more about anything.

But if we do that we’re just falling deeper into that rabbit hole. And it just becomes this cycle of not wanting to look dumb, so we don’t ask the necessary questions, then we remain ignorant.

All in all, it’s bad news bears. A messed up situation.

Then there are times when we finally get the courage to ask, and we are completely ridiculed like that’s totally unnecessary, why can’t people accept the notion that we all know different things and don’t have access to the same line of information. Why can’t it be common to just help and answer the question? Because there really isn’t any need to make a scene.

The more I think about it, the more frustrated I get, no one should be afraid to pursue a greater understanding of the concepts and world around you, you should be free to ask! Yet those jerks ruin the fun in learning.

But at the end of the day, don’t be afraid to be that idiot, who cares what other’s will think because your pursuit for knowledge should be the top priority, and ultimately it’s you who is growing, who’s learning. So nurture yourself, and raise that hand!

whew~

Apparently, I’m a lot more passionate about this topic than I was expecting.

Anywho, until next time! See you tomorrow!

(16.3) Courage: Loving Yourself

COURAGE COMIC 3.1COURAGE COMIC 3.2This one really hit close to home.

There is courage in loving yourself. Being able to look at what people and the media are throwing at you and saying, “Screw it! I’m perfect the way I am!”

Being able to say that and genuinely mean it, is such a strong thing to experience. And for me personally, it took me a while to finally be comfortable in my own body. Though I have my off days, overall I see beauty when I thought I could never find any.

Honestly, it’s a long process, especially if you haven’t always had the best opinion of yourself, but like I mentioned before it will take repetition and a solid effort to building good habits. Like really taking the time to look into yourself and see all the positive aspects, and genuinely acknowledging them. You have to constantly remind yourself of those good qualities because the more you tell yourself how amazing you are the more you can actually start feeling it.

It also helps to counter a negative emotion or thought with a positive one immediately, don’t give yourself the chance to doubt yourself, because, in reality, it’s nothing like that, you’re just refusing to give yourself the credit even though you obviously deserve it.

I’m speaking a lot from my own personal experiences, so a lot of this has helped me overcome my fears of being able to love myself. Which wording it out like this now looks really dumb and totally obvious, like, why wouldn’t you love yourself? But for people in a similar situation, it really can be a scary thing. Articulating it out into words is a little difficult, but it’s definitely not one of those uncommon feelings.

So for the meantime, what I’m trying to say for now is be easy on yourself, and let yourself believe that you really are incredible, because 100% of the time, you actually are! And don’t be afraid to love yourself, because once you do, that when you can really let your true colours shine through.

That’s all for today! See you tomorrow!

(16.2) Courage: Best Foot Forward

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Social Courage

If I’m being honest, this terrifies me more than physical courage at times. It can spike up that anxiety fast, but on the brighter side, I’m definitely a lot better at this kind of stuff compared to a couple of years ago.

For some people they’re a natural when it comes to social situations, some people even get charged in social situations. However for me, it takes a lot for me to open up, and I’m naturally a shy person who likes to keep to myself. So things like parties, social events, and networking are definitely an uphill struggle.

I worry whether I’m interesting to talk to, if I can keep up with a conversation, what if I offend someone, what I totally screw up an interaction that will ruin any chances of my career flourishing? Yeah, it gets extreme fast, but the fear is there and it’s real. So you can imagine the struggle of just getting myself to the event, let alone work up the courage to actually talk to someone.

But every time I go I experience the same kind of pattern.

There’s an event, I think I should go, I kind of don’t want to go, I force myself to go anyway, I feel extremely awkward, I talk to someone, I have a decent time, I actually enjoy myself a little bit, I go home.

Though it still makes me nervous to engage in social events, I know at least if I go it won’t be the end of the world. Plus I know I have enough tack not to accidentally offend somebody.

But those who also share a similar struggle, kudos to you for making the effort, it takes a lot of courage to even just walk to the dang place, and bonus if you go alone! It’s not easy, but things will get better with repetition! You got this!

That’s all for today, see you tomorrow!